Thursday, April 18, 2013

Learning From Life’s Challenges


 

First, let me preface my message by saying – no, I am not depressed or feeling sorry for myself.  What I am is in a very contemplative, learning mode.  I have done a great deal of learning this year and the lessons just keep coming.  I view that as a positive thing – not always easy, but always a step in the right direction.

I truly believe that every experience we have contains a purpose and a meaning.  Sometimes, if we’re lucky, that purpose or meaning becomes abundantly clear to us, other times, not so much and we have to have faith and continue on regardless – believing that we are on the path we are meant to be on.

As I am writing this, my thoughts keep going off into different directions, simply because this message is all encompassing and is so relevant to a plethora of different situations and circumstances.  I continually have to keep bringing my focus back to my intended purpose.  So, what is my purpose?

My thoughts, as of late have been surrounded around friends and family that I care about who are struggling with constant pain and symptoms of serious, debilitating  illnesses.  They carry this heavy burden daily and it affects their lives in very real and difficult ways.  This year, although there is no comparing what I’m facing temporarily and what they face, I have been given a taste of what it must be like for them. Because of my recent challenges, I have to say, I have learned a great deal of compassion, understanding and admiration for all of them.

I have learned that it is so very true that people just don’t/can’t understand what you are going through unless they have been through it themselves.  They just don’t get it!  Many can only handle the reality of a “chronic illness” (for lack of a better term) for so long before they either make themselves scarce, disappear altogether or become frustrated at the limitations it forces upon the person. Inevitably, even the most caring, well intentioned people eventually start saying and/or thinking things like, “Maybe if you try not to think about it so much” or “You need to be more positive – think positive thoughts;” “Well, you look like you’re fine” and even worse – “maybe it’s all in your head.”  There are numerous more, but you get my point.

So, my purpose behind this post is two-fold.  First, if you are one of the people watching a family member, friend or even an acquaintance go through this daily struggle and you get to this point in your thinking, and you probably will (I have to admit I have) just take a minute to ask yourself – if I am feeling this frustrated as an outsider looking in, how must they be feeling living it every day?  Then, before you say anything, ask yourself – is what I am going to say really something that will encourage/help them or is it just a result of my own frustration/feelings of helplessness?

Now, to those who are living with these challenges – my heart truly goes out to you.  Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers daily.  I think (even if on a smaller scale) I have experienced both perspectives, and to the extent I am able - I get it!  My prayer is that, whenever I am  given the opportunity to help/encourage you in any way – that God will guide me and use me to give you exactly what you need when you need it.  I also pray that this message gets to the people that need to read it and it makes a difference for you.

Finally, out of respect for their privacy, I did not mention any names, but I hope that my family and friends that I was thinking of while writing this will know that it is for them.  Through my own challenges, God has really placed you on my heart and has allowed me some insight (as I am experiencing some of this myself) on what it must be like for you to live this every day.